Course of Study

A rich girl from Newport had taken a liking to me. She would on occasion come into the area and we'd cross paths. I didn't know her very well, but I had seen her around now and then. I believe she lived in an exclusive area in Newport and her family had money.

We had first come across one another where the Taunton River meets Narraganset Bay. A friend of mine, Alan Bradford and I were on a flat bottomed fishing skiff motoring about and along comes this sailing yacht under power making its way toward the bay.

I had Alan bring the skiff into the large wake of the yacht and the skiff would send up a shower of spray, pounding on the cresting wake waves. One after the other and I stood in the bow and shifted my weight to add to the pounding and spray. One after the other, wave after wave, we were, following the sailing yacht motoring out toward the bay.

The girl appeared on deck and that's how for the first time we spied each other, me standing in the fore peak of the small skiff, she up high on her father's yacht. Rich girl.

It was a Sunday and I had to get to school so I motioned for Alan to break off the game and head to shore. I got off and hitch hiked to school in Woonsocket.

One time Rich Girl drove to Woonsocket. It was on the month end and at noon time, the time I'd be let out of school and start walking and hitchhiking home. She was up the road a ways, a couple of miles and unknown to me at that time.

This particular day, just as I had left the school yard and started walking the back road to a good hitchhiking spot, a car came by and stopped for me. It had just came out of the school area as I had. I'm thinking my luck is good, the first car to come by and it stops to pick me up.

But unknown to me at that time, it was a setup. The driver of the car had Jesuit cleric written all over him. I would later think he came from Providence and Brown University which has Jesuit teachers. The man  drew me out with small talk, asking me how I liked the school. I told him I didn't like it and he seemed to be a little put back. But no matter and on we rode, came to an intersection, took a left turn and onto the a main road leading out of Woonsocket.

Zoom, we passed by the rich girl from Newport. I did a double take. Yes it was her. What's she doing over here I'm thinking? And hey! She'd give me a ride all the way to my home town, and I'd get to talk to a real live girl. Whoa!

The Jesuit noticed the girl too. It was somehow that he knew the girl was there for me. And I was ready willing and able to get out of his car and into the rich girl's car. The Jesuit sped up, putting distance between us and the rich girl. He sped to the highway and dropped me off saying a few words like there was a 'change of plans' and a see ya later guy. He did a quick U-turn and headed back the way we had come. I'm thinking he's going back to give the rich girl grief. I believe he was going to do.

But his mission was accomplished, he got some information from me that he would relay to other religious people, some of the religious people that were causing me trouble. It would be the reaction of the mad bastard priest that would bring me to that conclusion.

The mad bastard priest from Saint Joseph's parish in Fall River was Fr. Shaleau. He was a mentally sick pervert kind of priest.. One of the many sick pervert priests the Church has in their darkened hallways and corridors within the institution. Fr. Shaleau wanted me in the clergy. It was him that I suspected was giving my father financial aid to send Gilbert and I to Mount Saint Charles. Fr. Shaleau wanted me to stay at Mount Saint Charles, he wished for me to become a Jesuit Brother, to take vows of poverty, chastity and obedience. Fr. Shaleau wished those penitent rites upon me to pervert my life. That's what I believe he wanted. My father couldn't care one way or the other, he had Gilbert as his first born. But Gilbert was no genius.

Why I had been picked up by the Jesuit and quizzed was: previously there had been a state wide test. The Brothers didn't say what the test was for or what kind of test it was but I suspect it was a SAT statewide. And the Brothers were kind of antsy about the test. There was a lot of talk about it.

Well the test came and went, and I believe I aced the test. That's what I believe happened.

In my freshman year,  I was placed in the 'stupid course of study', after all I had been labled a 'stupid student' and against my wishes, placed in the commercial course for study. I had wanted the scientific course. But it was deemed that I was too dumb for that course of study. After all the Jesuits knew best and for two years I slogged through the commercial course. Comes the SAT test, I ace it and shortly after I am called to Brother Prefect's office, the prefect of studies, the same Brother who deemed me unfit for the science course of study.

So there I was standing in front of Brother Prefect, aka Brother Oscar. He asks me, "How would you like to change your course of study?"

I'm thinking, I'd like it. Sure give me some science. But then there was a hitch. I've done four years at this school. Four Years! That's a long time, especially for a teenager. Four years. I have two years to go. Only Two Years. My goal is in sight. To get out of this place. It is so close. Two more years. I know it's a given if I stay in the Commercial Course, I'll breeze through and graduate. And after further discussion with Brother Prefect I make the decision not to alter my studies. I will continue on in the Commercial Course of study. What swayed me was thinking about how Darrel Luzier was forced out of Mount Saint Charles. Now being forced out of Mount had its good points and bad. But that wasn't my situation. My situation was they wanted to keep me at Mount, and by not graduating they could keep me at Mount Saint Charles. That I didn't want. Brother Prefect had explained to me that the scientific course of study was not an easy course, the subjects could be difficult. Those were similar words used upon Darrel when they downgraded his test scores, and Darrel was flunked out of Mount. (But that wasn't the reason the Brothers wanted to flunk Darrel out) I was cautious in the dealing with Brother Prefect for I did want to graduate and get out of Mount, not forced to remain and continue to study and study and grovel and grovel and pray and pray and go to chapel and pray some more. Yes Brother, no Brother, yes Brother. Then I'd have to pray some more.

As I was walking out of Brother Oscar's office I was dejected, I wanted that science course of study, but graduating trumped that. I'll do the two more years and get out of here. I walked to the door and put my hand of the knob and turning around looked at Brother Oscar, he was viewing some paper work on his desk. I said some parting words, I don't remember what, but I had turned to see if he was giving me some heebe-jeebie, witchcraft, voodoo, Name of Jesus, Jesuit curse, kind of thing or Sign of the Cross, behind my back. He wasn't.

Daddy Cool gets Married

A trouble maker approached me in the school yard and said to me, "Why don't you go over there and introduce yourself to the new boy. He's from you home town."

"No he's not. He's from New Bedford."

"Well why don't you go over there and say hello just to make him feel welcome."

I looked to where the new boy stood. He had been talking to some boys but was now by himself. I walked over to introduce myself, "Hello. I hear you are from New Bedford.

"So." he says curtly.

"I'm from Fall River." I tell him.

He turns his back to me and doesn't say another word. It's a total snub. Well screw him. I try to be nice. I say hello. I try to make him feel welcome and he snubs me. Not even a hello, how are you. Nothing!

But that's the kind of person he was. He was about my age, and quite handsome, and he was a sharp dresser. He wore good clothes. and his family had some money, from what I learned his family operated DeMello's Furniture Store in New Bedford Massachusetts. They had a nice car, a Caddy Coupe DeVille. But this new boy was an oddball. He was cold and standoffish. Some boys would give him the nickname "Daddy Cool", but his given name was John DeMello.

At that time I couldn't understand his cool to my receptive greeting. Many years later I would try to peg it as he being a queer. An unhappy queer at that. It was like he was pissed at the whole world for he being a queer. Perhaps his queer boyfriend was now alone as was he and locked up on one acre of land at some private catholic school in Rhode Island miles and miles away. Maybe that was why he was so pissed off.

But fast forward one year:

One year later in Fall River, It's early autumn, in the afternoon, it's the month end and I'm out of school for the weekend. I'm cruising North Main Street in my father's car, a 55' Olds. I have the windows rolled down and the radio playing. It's a beautiful day. I see a girl I hadn't seen in years. It's Estelle. I had know her through Alan and Alan's girlfriend. Four or so years ago this girl had taken a liking to me so I'm thinking my luck is good. She is walking alone.

I quickly drive down the street a way, make a U-turn and head back the other way and slowly motor up next to Estelle who is walking along on the sidewalk.

Motoring along at almost a crawl I say to her, "Hi Estell. What's doing?"

"I'm getting married!" she yells back at me. It's almost angrily she yelled, loud, angry like with nothing more to say.

Hey cool it. I just said hi. No need to get upset. So my luck wasn't as good as I had thought and I left Stell where I had seen her.

But the conversation was picked up by one of my stalkers who was standing right nearby and those words would be replayed to me verbatim. It went like this ...

It was a month or so later, just like it was yesterday. I'm out in the schoolyard. Word has it that Daddy Cool, aka John DeMello is leaving school. I'm curious to where he's going , so I approach him the the yard. I hadn't spoken to him in over a year, from that time he snubbed me. I'm a little cautious I approach him and say, "I hear you're leaving school."

"I'm getting married!" DeMello yells at me.

It's a replay. Estelle yells at me, DeMello yells at me, both saying the same words, both saying it with the same inflection, both the same. It's a double.

I'm the mark. The message is from the church. The message is from the priest. It's from the catholic network. The message is: We are fucking with you. You are being stalked. We are following you. We will fuck up your social contacts one way or another. We will sensitize you. We are sensitizing you. We are fixating the Curse in your mind. We are the bastards of Jesus. We are doing this in the Name of Jesus. We are omnipotent, as the Pope is infallible. You will pay for your transgression against the priest. Our priest, our saintly one, the one who comes in the Name of Jesus. Damn You. You are to be damned by us, the Church.

I want the reader to understand the catholic connection and how it works in society. The trouble they created for me.

That day when I saw Estelle I was being stalked by a catholic bastard. He was a middle aged man. From him to the catholic boy in the schoolyard, my overheard conversation with the girl was relayed.

What John DeMello didn't tell me was he was entering the religious life. John DeMello was going into a seminary and study to become a priest. He was not getting married. He was going to become a priest, so he was just doing the work of the Church. But the Church was using Gangstalking methods used by the Stasi in Eastern Europe, methods that are now becoming more widespread. In Gangstalking 'sensitizing' the target is practiced, as is 'street theater' both incorporated by the stalkers and used against me, as organized by the Church and with the help of John DeMello and people like him.

The closest thing to John DeMello getting married would be a mind fuck of the Blessed Virgin. But no, the queer was going to enter a seminary and become a priest. And years later he would still be fucking with me. For in the years to come, he would become one of my stalkers out in the public, not a participant here in the schoolyard of Mount Saint Charles..

I want people to know how this little pervert would be in the mainstream, in the public perverting my life. So there is the bastard catholic connection. Bastard priest who cursed me, bastard stalker for the priest and now a new enlistee bastard, Daddy Cool, aka John DeMello, queer, soon to be fag priest.

That is how the catholic connection works and it is supported by the many religious organizations within the church. Religious clerical organizations and lay organizations; I would hazard a guess from the Knights of Columbus, to the Jesuits, Knights Templar, Benedictines, Franciscans and there are many many organizations within the church and they support each other.

John DeMello was to become a priest would continue to fuck into my life for many years to come and would get into my family relationships to get at me. He would get bad information on my sister and use that information to spoil the relationship between her and me, sister and brother. A priest spoiling a relationship between blood brother and blood sister. Spoiling a relationship within a family. That's how those bastards work.